The Unwritten Rules
How Saving Face Shapes Southeast Asian Deal-Making (And What Aussie Entrepreneurs Get Wrong)
Published June, 2025
Walking into your first business meeting in Jakarta, you confidently stride across the room, hand extended for a firm Australian handshake, ready to get straight down to brass tacks. The polite smiles around the conference table seem encouraging, but somehow the energy feels... off. Three months later, you're still waiting for that "yes" that never quite materialised into a signed contract.
Sound familiar? You've just experienced the invisible cultural barriers that trip up even the most well-intentioned Australian entrepreneurs venturing into Southeast Asia's dynamic markets.
Having worked across Southeast Asia for a number of years, I can't emphasise enough the importance of being culturally aware when establishing your business in Southeast Asia. In the following article I am taking a deeper look into some key cultural considerations, but if you would like to chat more about these considerations or the nitty gritty of doing business in Southeast Asia, I also offer a one-on-one Power Hour to talk through all the questions you have about getting started in Southeast Asia.
The Foundation: Face and Harmony Above All
In Southeast Asian business culture, once you have lost face, it's not easily undone. One usually avoids publicly exposing people, i.e. causing their loss of face by emphasising their mistakes and misfortunes and openly criticising them. This fundamental principle shapes every interaction, from the initial business card exchange to complex negotiation strategies.
Unlike Australian business culture, where directness is often equated with honesty and efficiency, Southeast Asians tend to communicate rather indirectly. This style is characterised by soft and implicit phrasing which does not compromise oneself or your counterpart and preserves harmony.
For Australian entrepreneurs, this indirect communication style can feel frustratingly ambiguous. Yet understanding this approach is crucial - in a solely fact-based debate it is easy to quickly feel cornered, which can mean your counterpart feels a loss of face and may even terminate talks and negotiations when this happens.
Decoding the "Asian No" - When Yes Doesn't Mean Yes
Perhaps nothing frustrates Australian business leaders more than the elusive Southeast Asian "no." You will rarely hear a direct "no" in Southeast Asia; instead, Asians use numerous alternative ways of communicating this in a polite manner and without loss of face.
When your Indonesian partner says "maybe," "possibly," "it is good but," or "it would be better," they're actually giving you a polite refusal. Even more confusing for Australians, "yes" does not always mean complete approval, but can be meant as goodwill so as not to offend the negotiating partner.
The key is learning to read between the lines. To determine whether a statement is to be treated as agreement or refusal, you should enquire several times, but vary the wording each time. The more specific the arrangements become, the more likely you can rely on them being genuine commitments.
Small Talk: The Hidden Business Strategy
Once you understand the communication dynamics, the next crucial element is relationship building. For time-conscious entrepreneurs, small talk can feel like a waste of precious meeting time. For successful businesses in Southeast Asia, small talk is a big thing! Small talk is not a waste of time, but helps to establish a personal relationship.
By showing an interest in your counterpart using small talk, you also demonstrate your respect and allow them to keep face. Taking the time for small talk means being interested in a trusting relationship with one another. This investment in relationship-building creates the foundation for successful negotiations.
When Criticism Becomes Personal
Building on the theme of maintaining relationships, feedback delivery requires a completely different approach. That straightforward feedback you'd give to an Australian team member without a second thought? In Southeast Asia, it can be relationship-ending. You should, therefore, never criticise a person or their performance in front of others. You should also avoid open or subtle insinuations.
Instead, employ the sandwich strategy: begin with genuine praise, suggest improvements rather than criticising directly, and conclude with more positive reinforcement.
Body Language: The Silent Deal-Breaker
Beyond verbal communication, physical presence plays an equally important role in Southeast Asian business success. Australian casualness, while charming at home, can be misinterpreted in Southeast Asian business settings. Generally in Southeast Asia you are considered to be "well brought-up" if you do not make sweeping gestures and movements. You do not "speak with your hands".
The confident Australian stance and animated hand gestures that work well in Melbourne or Perth can appear aggressive or disrespectful in Bangkok or Manila. Always use both hands when handing over or receiving something. The exception to this rule is in Muslim cultures like Indonesia and Malaysia where you should only use your right hand.
Eye Contact Etiquette
Even eye contact requires recalibration. In Asia it is not usual to look into your counterpart's eyes or to return their look with an open gaze, especially not between the sexes or across different levels of hierarchy. Direct eye contact is felt to be unpleasant, ill-behaved and provocative.
QUICK TIP: The Business Card Ceremony
Nothing illustrates the importance of respect and hierarchy in Southeast Asian business quite like the exchange of business cards. For many Australian entrepreneurs, it's a simple swap of contact details. In Southeast Asia, it's a ceremony that can make or break business relationships.
To appear at a meeting without a translated Asian business card is the equivalent of refusing to shake hands at a Western business meeting. Imagine the impact of arriving at an important Sydney meeting and refusing to shake hands - that's the equivalent of not having appropriate business cards in Asia.
The Proper Protocol: Asian translated business cards are always exchanged and should ideally be done so with two hands (as a sign of respect). Business cards tend to represent the person to whom you are being introduced, so take a few moments to review and study the card, then put it on the table next to you or properly in a business card case.
Critical mistakes to avoid:
NEVER distribute (or toss) your Asian business card in a manner similar to dealing playing cards
NEVER place a stack of your Asian business cards on the table and offer others to take a card from the stack
NEVER immediately place a business card in your back pocket
NEVER write comments on another person's business card in their presence
Get it right:
Your business cards for Asia should be bilingual even if the people you are meeting read and write English
When presenting your Asian business cards, make sure that you hold it with the translated side up, facing your contact so that he/she can read it
It is best to stand up when exchanging Asian business cards
The Bottom Line
Southeast Asia offers tremendous opportunities for Australian businesses. The entrepreneurs I see succeed aren't necessarily the most aggressive with their pricing or those with the best bells and whistles - they're the ones who understand that business in Southeast Asia is built on relationships, respect, and harmony.
The indirect communication that initially frustrates many Australians actually serves a crucial purpose: it allows all parties to maintain dignity while building genuine consensus. Master these unwritten rules, and you'll find doors opening that remain firmly closed to culturally insensitive competitors.
Remember, in Southeast Asia, how you say something is often more important than what you say. Take the time to learn these nuances, show genuine respect for local customs, and watch your business relationships - and your bottom line - transform.
As the CEO of CSLB-Asia, I can support your business by drawing on years of hands-on experience in Southeast Asian business operations. Based between Singapore and Australia, I specialise in helping Australian businesses navigate the cultural and regulatory complexities of Southeast Asian expansion.
I look forward to supporting your business success in Southeast Asia.
Regards
Katherine Chapman
📧 katherine@cslb-asia.com
📱 +65 819 86 880 | +61 434 174 941
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Disclaimer: This article reflects personal interpretations and opinions as a thought leader in compliance in Asia.